This is definitely not a proper autobiography.

Sep 22

officialunitedstates:

I was nervous, I admit.  It was our second date and I wanted everything to be as close to perfect as possible.  I had even gone so far as to fill up my car with the second cheapest gasoline type.  I had no idea what it was or why anyone would ever buy it but I decided that no expense would be spared.
I had also baked some fresh muffins.  Those took me about six hours to make because I kept changing my mind on what flavor muffins I wanted.  At first, I wanted to make some with nuts but then I changed my mind after about ten minutes of them in the oven.  So, I put on my mitts I knitted the day before and took them out, promptly dug into the muffins with tweezers to remove each nut, and then decided to replace them with chocolate chips.  This worked well, until I remembered that I hadn’t asked her if she was allergic to chocolate or not and didn’t want her not to be able to have any.  So, I put on my mitts I had knitted the day before and took them out of the oven, got back out my tweezers and tried to remove the chocolate chips.  They were all melted and everything but eventually I managed to get them out with a straw.  I replaced them with bananas because I had never heard of anyone that was allergic to bananas and I thought that was a safe bet.  After about three hours of cooking at 100 degrees they seemed warm enough to be done. 
Her apartment was a short drive away.  I got out of the car like a gentleman and rang her doorbell instead of playing my Linkin Park song so loud that she could hear it from inside and know that I was there.   Her doorbell had a nice ring to it.  Like really nice.  I loved the notes and the rhythm to the chimes and everything.  It was nicely paced and not too rushed.  It really gave off a welcoming feel. 
She answered the door with a smile. 
"Hey, I really like your doorbell," I said.
She stepped out and glanced at it. 
"How much?" I asked.
She laughed right in my face.  I assured her I wasn’t joking.
"I can’t sell you my doorbell. How would you even get it out of my house? Isn’t it built into the wall?"
"That’s not important. I’m willing to go as high as $100."  I had seen half a season of Pawn Stars; I knew what I was doing.
"500." she countered.  She knew what she was doing, too.
"Meet me in the middle at 300?"
"350."
Dang, she was good.  She must have seen at least two seasons of Pawn Stars, maybe even three.  But I really wanted those bells. 
"Alright, I can do 350," I said as I went in for the handshake.
I spent the next hour and a half punching her wall to get her doorbells out.  Then I drove home and installed them.  I forgot about the date and the banana muffins completely.

officialunitedstates:

I was nervous, I admit.  It was our second date and I wanted everything to be as close to perfect as possible.  I had even gone so far as to fill up my car with the second cheapest gasoline type.  I had no idea what it was or why anyone would ever buy it but I decided that no expense would be spared.

I had also baked some fresh muffins.  Those took me about six hours to make because I kept changing my mind on what flavor muffins I wanted.  At first, I wanted to make some with nuts but then I changed my mind after about ten minutes of them in the oven.  So, I put on my mitts I knitted the day before and took them out, promptly dug into the muffins with tweezers to remove each nut, and then decided to replace them with chocolate chips.  This worked well, until I remembered that I hadn’t asked her if she was allergic to chocolate or not and didn’t want her not to be able to have any.  So, I put on my mitts I had knitted the day before and took them out of the oven, got back out my tweezers and tried to remove the chocolate chips.  They were all melted and everything but eventually I managed to get them out with a straw.  I replaced them with bananas because I had never heard of anyone that was allergic to bananas and I thought that was a safe bet.  After about three hours of cooking at 100 degrees they seemed warm enough to be done. 

Her apartment was a short drive away.  I got out of the car like a gentleman and rang her doorbell instead of playing my Linkin Park song so loud that she could hear it from inside and know that I was there.   Her doorbell had a nice ring to it.  Like really nice.  I loved the notes and the rhythm to the chimes and everything.  It was nicely paced and not too rushed.  It really gave off a welcoming feel. 

She answered the door with a smile. 

"Hey, I really like your doorbell," I said.

She stepped out and glanced at it. 

"How much?" I asked.

She laughed right in my face.  I assured her I wasn’t joking.

"I can’t sell you my doorbell. How would you even get it out of my house? Isn’t it built into the wall?"

"That’s not important. I’m willing to go as high as $100."  I had seen half a season of Pawn Stars; I knew what I was doing.

"500." she countered.  She knew what she was doing, too.

"Meet me in the middle at 300?"

"350."

Dang, she was good.  She must have seen at least two seasons of Pawn Stars, maybe even three.  But I really wanted those bells. 

"Alright, I can do 350," I said as I went in for the handshake.

I spent the next hour and a half punching her wall to get her doorbells out.  Then I drove home and installed them.  I forgot about the date and the banana muffins completely.

(via officialunitedstates)

fypblog:

Mt. Moon Pokemon Beer Label (newly released)available as T-shirts, hoodies, stickers, totes, pillows, and more
(designed by RachaelMakesShirts)

fypblog:

Mt. Moon Pokemon Beer Label (newly released)
available as T-shirts, hoodies, stickers, totes, pillows, and more

(designed by RachaelMakesShirts)

“Three simple rules in life. 1. If you do not go after what you want, you’ll never have it. 2. If you do not ask, the answer will always be no. 3. If you do not step forward, you will always be in the same place.” —

(Source: purpleemoon, via ivydivyfosho)

kiyotakamine:

junkoenomemeshima:

"What kind of music do you listen to?"

image

"What else do you listen to?"image

(via pinksad)

Sep 21

[video]

(Source: britcurtains, via daywalker425)

Look at this gifI cannot stop watchingLike what are the chancesHe even sticks the landingNinja in training

Look at this gif
I cannot stop watching
Like what are the chances
He even sticks the landing
Ninja in training

I Look Like Barack Obama -

  1. I am NOT Barack Obama, we just look alike.
  2. We are not in any way related (to the best of my knowledge).
  3. I am not the president of the United States. So please, if you see me on the street, don’t come up to me asking if I’m Barack Obama. I’m not.

Sep 20

[video]

thingsorganizedneatly:

Adam Voorhes knife laurel. Read how he did it here.

thingsorganizedneatly:

Adam Voorhes knife laurel. Read how he did it here.

savvydarling:

untitled by Letícia Cruxen on Flickr.

savvydarling:

untitled by Letícia Cruxen on Flickr.

(via mis-mae)

[video]

[video]

Attack on Titan

If I could say two things: holy shit and stop reading this, go watch now.

About half way done and I’ve been told I haven’t seen anything yet.

Sep 18

[video]