January 2011
48 posts
1 tag
Get me out of this bed.
The human eyes are not meant to look at a tv screen for 18 hours a day for 3 weeks straight. It is too much strain on the back of the brain. The back of my brain- I don’t know how to phrase it, but is being over worked and is now lagging in viewing images. When I look away from the tv everything slows down and the tv screen gets dragged across the room. It is a deep headache. It’s like...
XBox Live
Me: How do you stop a charging rhino?
Randy: Um, I don't know.
Me: Take away his credit card.
[chuckling]
Me: Where do penguins keep their money?
Randy: In a snow bank.
Me: No you idiot, penguins don't have a form of currency. If they did they would be a much more highly evolved species.
1 tag
“Bill: So Edward, did you have a productive day?
Edward: Mrs Monroe showed me...”
– Edward Scissorhands
5 tags
Legs.
So during winter break I realized how tall I am. I never really knew until then. First my mom put a book on my brother’s and my head, and it slanted towards him. Being taller than my brother is like whow. But the time it really hit me is when my dad told me to put that 6 foot ladder away. From my distance and angle I was like, dad don’t you mean the 8 foot ladder? And he said no, it is 6 feet....
“Lois Einhorn: Ventura, when I get out of that bathroom, you better be gone.
Ace...”
– Ace Ventura: Pet Detective
Broken femur. Waiting for the amberlamps. Going to have pins screwed into my leg. No meal since Monday night. Fuck. /end post
HOLY SWEET JESUS BABY MCRIB SANDWICH
I AM GOING TO THE HOSPITAL TOMORROW.
I tried to get out of bed to get my paperwork telling me which hospitals I can go to and some other things and after slowy sliding off the bed I get my left foot stuck in my food tub. So I’m standing there for 5 minutes stuck. And I’m like fuck it. So I- This post will be tldr if I keep this rate up. and I don’t want to tpye that much.
wake...
Update
That moment when you are peeing into a Gatorade bottle on your roommates bed and it is almost full and you still are going pee and start to think oh fuck this could go terribly wrong but then you instantly shut off the flow of urine.
Like a boss.
You know those really big coughs that your whole body sort of like flexes? Those hurt so much. I don’t think anything is broken, just really...
And I sit here, in pain.
,dfv knjbjkhbkbjnhiub.
i just want to get out my fucking pain and anger so shit is going to be mispelled and run ons and terrible grammar and bad comma placement. deal with it. ill probably be calmer by the end.
so i was unlocking my bike to get to my class from my dorms. and like i always do i book it to class. i go from 0-20 like bam and just about 10 feet out of the parking lot (keep in mind...
1 tag
“The Human Abstract” David Axelrod...
1 tag
Ice Cube
When I was in Cuny’s class senior year we would share flash drives filled with music. From what I remember, the majorities of the genres were alternative rock, electronic, experimental, and alternative hip-hop. It was a lot of different music, from MGMT to RCHP to Gorillaz to Arctic Monkeys to Radiohead, you get my point.
He gave me Ice Cube’s new album and told me it was really good...
2 tags
assssterick igniore last post
seroislu sorry. i mean to handle my self. bitches. hat asss bitches.
ther l;onget i p[l;ay
oops i mean micos i mean close y eyes, theloinger i swim. fuclkkfuck iu loke ther lole sorriez quise. I MEan the scroll wheel on my tshiba, i sicrveced the war, tyherbetter thew mucis sounds.
"3 items being bought at once that would make the...
vodka, home pregnancy test, single coat-hanger
George Foreman grill, rope, condoms
Hanna Montana dvd, box of tissues, Vaseline
ky jelly, ky jelly, 100 pack of cocktail weiners
Bread, Milk, Jackie Chan
iPhone, Apple TV, Dildo
blue jean huggies, canned dog food, ky yours and mine
butter, butter, I can’t believe it’s not butter
Condoms, Lube, Baby cactus
The Matrix Trilogy.
...
Quotes to use in everyday life.
When commenting on how black someone is: ”You blacker than that Everybody Hates Chris dude.”
When insulting someone’s clothes: “You look like a little mexican dude. Ching chong halla lookin boi.”
When complaining about a person’s teeth: “You’re teeth so buttery they buttering them a factory.”
Black Kid 1: At least I don't be in da bathroom, typin' on da computer naked. Typin' to my girlfriend flirtin' on da toilet.
Black Kid 2: Shut up you Dominos eatin' motherfucka.
3 tags
train of thought leads to action, which lead to...
So I remembered that video James posted with the black kids fighting because my brother came out of the bathroom. The kid said something like “you talk to your girlfriend while sitting on the toilet with your Internet.” And I liked that quote so I decided I was going to post that on Facebook. But when I went to Youtube to check the exact quote I saw an Onion video. So I watched it. I...
3 tags
Bleh
jkia fuob ghjlfe po;n mk